Update: American Ninja in Japan Edition

I tried not to laugh. I swear. I tried to stop myself from smirking. But I think they noticed that my words were saturated with sarcasm.

Grumpy called me over. Please talk to these foreigners. Some fat Americans. Ok, chubby, not fat. Three guys, one girl. Kotomi had been translating for grumpy. I say hi, I'm the resident gajin here. [Joke, haha]. Oh hello. [American English is so painful to listen to] We're visiting Noda, and we saw the dojo and thought we'd have a look. Oh, so you do kendo? Um no. So what do you do? We do [incomprehensible Japanese]. Oh yea, and what's that? Oh... that's [quietly] ninjitsu. Oh, and what's ninjitsu? [Acting dumb. Sarcasm, remember? I could tell what they were right from the start]. Oh... umm, ninja... stuff. Oh. Smirk. So, ah, yea, we're here in Noda, visiting the sensei of my sensei. [Aparently Noda is famous for ninja. Actually, Noda has pretty damn good ninja; I haven't seen a single one yet]. He says, I run a ninja dojo at home in [nasal American English] Co-lo-radoooo Sp-rrri-nnnngssss. Oh, that's nice. [Thinking of excuses to leave.... damn, none coming to mind]. We really like Noda. Kotomi and me look at each other, try not to laugh. Smirk. Oh really? What do you like about Noda? [The soy sauce factory? The run-down shops? The small railway station?] Oh, you know, it's so great here. We're staying for two weeks. Oh, well... er, that's nice... I have to... er... go pack up my stuff. Bye.

I think they were pretty relieved when I left them.


Sherwood said...

"American English is so painful to listen to" ...... Ever heard the phrase with the words "Pot & Kettle"? ;)

Sherwood said...

No, but you don't speak "proper" English ... like wot I do! ;)

Benjamin said...

The pot calling the kettle black? Do I speak like an American?

ari said...

wow... that was pretty harsh. also pretty funny and quite possibly pretty deserved.

Benjamin said...

From what I know, ninjitsu isn't real. Ninja were simply warriors that had collected some tricks from various martial arts schools and who were sent out to do certain things.

It annoys me to see fat, sweaty Americans who think they are ninja when they watch lots of anime and badly swing around the weapons of some other martial arts schools. I mean, they probably couldn't even jump over low walls if their lives depended on it. (If you're fat you'll have trouble with anything requiring agility).