Old Teachers

I really struggle while practising with older teachers. I tend to feel as if everything I am doing is wrong, and that I suck even more than normal. I become very self conscious of all my mistakes. And I also become aware of how little effort they put into beating me up. Sometimes I lose my concentration, and once I tripped on my hakama twice within a minute, so I said I felt dizzy and sat down. But I think it had more to do with the teachers overpowering kendo...

I generally don't feel these things with the younger teachers. I'm sure they fight hard with me... perhaps not as if they were in a shiai, but still, they generally don't give away hits. With younger teachers I feel on top (probably because I'm taller) and I'm not scared of them, I try my best to beat them... but with some older teachers I feel like I want to hide in a hole somewhere.

Strange.